Ego is the judge

The existence of ego is dependent on your mind. If your mind believes in ego you can also stop believing in it. There’s no need to be afraid of the ego but your ego is indeed very afraid that you will no longer believe in it and therefore its existence ends.  You can’t really escape the ego by humiliating it, trying to control it or punish it. Instead, try peace. It’s the worst enemy of the ego because it’s always looking for war to strengthen it. Be more conscious, be at peace and you will feel ego grasping for air. 

When you act upon the suggestions of your ego you tend to feel guilty and fear for some kind of a punishment. Ego is the one to judge. It judges others and it judges you. Ego tries to make you feel different and special, different and separate from the rest. It’s ego’s duty number one to make you feel better than everyone else. As part of this process you will also start to project things that you don’t like about yourself to others. If you have a big nose you will certainly judge people who have a big nose. This happens totally subconsciously and it’s very difficult to catch oneself when this happens. Just keep monitoring repetitive negative thoughts about other people and if you are willing to admit it you will see that the specific fault that you saw in others exists in you as well. Then you will start to catch your ego because you see it’s motivation and after a while you manage to stop the negative thought because you already know what triggered the judging thought.  

Fear and analytical thinking are some of the most potent fuels that the ego needs to stay alive. Why analytical thinking - because we use it to separate things from each other, to categorize things, and ultimately to judge other people and separate themselves from you. Ego doesn’t really see the big picture, it just sees the parts and all the various faults of the parts. It sees the big nose and judges the person as ugly but doesn’t see the the real person. With ego it’s just about appearances, rather the reality. Because the world of ego exists only as small parts, everything appears chaotic and uncertain in an ego-driven mind. It finds salvation in separation from God and all things harmonious are considered a threat. 

You probably know a few people who are very egoistic in their actions, thoughts and words. Have you noticed that often they tend to atheists? I have very closely watched a few people like that. It’s not that they don’t believe in God, but they don’t realize that they treat their ego exactly like a God. Of course you can’t tell them that as they would probably not want to be around you anymore but in their case ego is like some weird cancer that eats them alive inside so that only an outer shell remains. Their perspective is completely distorted and they see spirituality as some sort of plague as their ego is very happy owing that person and doesn’t want anything spiritual near them. Ego celebrates separation from God by replacing God. 

I have even seen some ’spiritual’ people who have developed such spiritual pride that they’ve let ego take full control and they don’t see it. Usually they preach of their way being the only way and they see themself as a great spiritual leader. It is advisable to be careful if want to develop spirituality with a teacher. Watch what they say and how they act and determine are they really trying to help you without benefiting themselves. I tend to think that spiritual development cannot be bought and I am nowadays very careful when somebody’s marking a spiritual course or event. You have to do the hard work yourself. There are no shortcuts. Obviously some courses might be helpful to propel you further but be careful what you choose. Usually your intuition is a great guide in this.  

The thoughts about the ego in this post are largely from the Course of Miracles which I happen to be reading at the moment (for the second time). That combined with my own struggles to destruct the ego through spiritual development. Ego in deed can be a bitch and distort our lives in so many ways. I hope this helps someone who’s trying to nail their ego as well.